Better out than not thin

MMm you smell nice! Diana commented as we reunited at my front door. If a bit heavily perfumed..

Oh yes that's "eau de cover up that i've just been sick".

I'd OBVIOUSLY overdone the rock buns post sleep in hence the heady blanket of febreeze, comme de garcon's rhubarb and hand sanitizer. Didn't want to have no room for the cakes at Lizzy B's impending cake birthday party!

So yes, Diana and I went to Lizzy B's birthday and had lots of chocolate guinness cake, chocolate brownies, and the following cupcakes: banana, carrot, strawberry, blueberry, and some unidentified smartie one. We also played party games and did our best to mingle. I tutted for a few moments at a couple sitting on the floor with a pile of takeaway chips and kebabs before being invited to tuck in. Well don't mind if I do! The whole party was absolutely amazing needless to say.

Didn't steal the recipes so can't oblige with that but did smuggle two cupcakes home for the housemates (sorry Lizzy). My penance cropped up when after too much cava bien merci I was on the phone to Roast on the way home and suddenly had the doom laden feeling that i'd lost my phone. I plunged my hand into my bag only to come up with a fistful of buttercream and the realisation that I was actually on the phone.

WHOOPSY

Sweetdreams sugarbuns xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Delicious Miss Dave

A few weeks ago after a luscious ladies day at the spa with Sashy and Dave, I went to Dave's for a healthy heartwarming soup as advocated by Sophie D in her Nolstagia episode. And I'm afraid I've left this post so long to write up that this is a perfect menu for me!

We bought tomatoes, garlic, onions and perhaps a red pepper (perhaps not- i can't recall). You're meant to put sugar in to caramelise the tomatoes, thyme and buckets of olive oil. Nestle in the oven for 40 mins.

Then blitz it up. We felt very sad about this bit. Almost sacrilege destroying all those lovely roasted vegetables.

Unfortunately after we'd polished it off with the aid of some rough tough irish farl, torn and shared of course, Chris had a little accident and cut his finger. In the dim recesses of my memory it may not have been that bad an accident but this photo looks an absolute horror! I do hope it's better now, Chris. Maybe you're not that nolstagic for this night after all!

Ta ra for now treasures, I need my post night shift bath xxxxxxxxxx

A rocky night

After an evening of inter-resident quarrel mediation and creative discouragement to one from the path of prostitution for a tenner, I was extremely sleepy yesterday. Unfortunately I had to wait until midday today to get my sleep. Now those who know will me will be crying out. Are you okay? Where are your 14 hours??

Don't fret. I've discovered post night shifts that I can usually substitute 30 minutes of sleep for something sweet and find my self near raring to go! Little tip there actually for all you party animals.

What you could do actually is bake these very easy rock buns before you go out for the night (cook with a friend so it still counts as sociale). Just remember to pop an apron over your glad rags yah.

Rock buns:

Ingredients
200g (8 oz) Self Raising Flour
100g (4 oz) Butter
100g (4 oz) Sugar
75g (3 oz) Currants
4 Eggs, Orange zest, Some spicy bits (wasn't quite looking at what granny put in)

Method
(1) Mix flour , sugar, fat. (2) Stir in the sugar and currants, zest and spicy bits. (3) Mix to a stiff dough with the egg.
(4) Place in "rocky heaps" on a greased baking tray. (5) Bake in the oven at 200°C, 400°F or Gas Mark 6, for 15-20 minutes.

Granny and I made 36 so discounting 6 she kept to give her gardener that means I've eaten my way back to a sleep restored mind this afternoon.

Lucky I had this fix as I have to go out this evening. To a cake party of all things! I hope I don't OD.

Talk soon mon cheres xxxxxxx

L Dizzle

Having been brought up in the serene countryside sheltered from the likes of Sherrier and those who played down the 'Rec' I've always lived very much on the right side of the tracks of life. None of this sppeeding up and down for me. Unlike lovers of Mdizzle my vice is a good old rub of sugar now and again. This lemon drizzle cake that I'm about to regale you with is the perfect vessel for such a substance as it contains plenty inside and out. And if you need a sweet friend to eat it with Bob is perfection.

Lemon drizzle cake: 225g unsalted butter , softened, 225g caster sugar, 4 eggs, finely grated zest 1 lemon, 225g self-raising flour. For the drizzle topping:juice 11⁄2 lemon, 85g caster sugar

Heat oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Beat together the butter and sugar until pale and creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, slowly mixing through. Sift in the flour, then add the lemon zest and mix until well combined. Line a loaf tin (8 x 21cm) with greaseproof paper, then spoon in the mixture and level the top with a spoon.

Bake for 45-50 mins until a thin skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean. While the cake is cooling in its tin, mix together the lemon juice and sugar to make the drizzle. Prick the warm cake all over with a skewer or fork, then pour over the drizzle - the juice will sink in and the sugar will form a lovely, crisp topping. Leave in the tin until completely cool, then remove and serve.

I liked these photos of Bob so much I thought I'd put both in! She's talking to Mark in the first one but he clearly doesn't want to be a part of this.

Mmmmm xxxxxxxxxxxx

oh p.s. on the official tana ramsay recipe it says this should keep for 3-4 days if secured in an air(and mouth) tight container but we made this a week and a half ago and it's still going strong. Looks like tana is telling as many fibs as her husband!

Can't dampen our fun!

Over Easter I was lying low from the clients at Granny's, playing treehouses, making campfires, not going on facebook, and other sorts of wholesome Enid Blyton style pursuits.

Even though it was a little drizzly the cousins and I donned our boiler suits (we didn't want to get our London clothes muddy) and spent the whole weekend in the great outdoors.

Not sure if you've planted a wood on your land but if you have here is a great recipe for some doughy treats to toast over a campfire in your glade.

Dampers:

8 tablespoons of bread flour

200ml of water

a bit of salt

Mix all together and fashion into marshmallow size shapes on the end of sticks. Make your campfire and rest the sticks over it.

They're really tasty. We melted some easter egg in a tin over the fire and dipped them in. Mum had to tie lexy up with my long socks to stop him jumping into the fire to reach them! They must have smelt delicious.

Yesterday when I was getting ready for a party Lewis came into the room and said, 'hmm is someone BBQing outside?' Unfortunately I had to admit that it was just the Fran Fro sizzling as the last curls were singed in but it did for a few seconds happily transport me back to my damper fun.

Better dash as I want to get in some 90210 before work.

Laters kids xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Switch me on!

After a gruelling weekend of picnics and partying chased up with an early Sunday shift (I was a very little bit sick in my mouth twice at work) all I wanted was a health boosting dinner in the company of my morale boosting friends. And what could be more invigorating than a menu of POWER PITTAS? After a few of these I nearly felt like I could go again. I harvested mushrooms, peppers (of all colours), halloumi, and courgette from the Co-op and Marky melded them all together with some herbs and spices in a wok. We also were brimming with tzatzkiikiii (yog, chopped mint, cucumber) courtesy of Chazzi's fair hands. Bob fetched us bowls and the others provided extra sides of company.

Gosh aren't they tucking in well? The room was so full of the near silence of munching I half expected a Dad to pipe up, 'oh i can tell this is good!'

Afterwards we had not one but two delicious cakes that Chazzle had dazzled us with. One chocolate, one strawberry cream to tear into.

Don't I look like I could never make a food or drink based mistake in this photo?

Well Cath Kidston dresses can be deceiving.. It was my job to rustle up 8 cups of teas to go with this and I failed miserably. The water was barely simmering and floating on the top were suds from the dishwasher. I'd just been so eager to get back to the gang I just didn't have time to do it properly!

Bob and I still drank ours. She's very sweet to me and having had gastroenteretc recently was probably inoculated from it. Suds away!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Beet that!

A little while ago I arrived home from work and no sooner had I stepped through the door Dani Bristol texted me enquiring what I was up to. Pushing all thoughts of a nice bubble bath and a nap aside I wheeled right round and met her at my favourite cafe, 'The Bridge,' for a hot chocolate. One thing led to another and we ended up round her friend Rachel and Colin's Shoreditch flat tucking into the abundant contents of their fridge.

Now the recipes featured today may seem a little lux for my everyday readers (what, no fish finger sandwich?) but rest assured they seemed quite easy. Not that I was cooking. I'm just dinner entertainment these days.

From ingredients genuinely already lying around Colin whipped us up a wonderful 'oven cooked beetroot risotto.'

500ml veg stock

5tbsp extra virg olive oil

25g unsalted butter

2 small pink onions chopped

3 garlic cloves crushed with a little sea salt a la jennifer paige

5 small beetroot peeled, halved, sliced, plus the leafy tops to cook and serve with.

3 fresh lemon thyme sprigs

300g arborio rice

200ml dry rose wine

5 tbsp mascarpone

100g grana padano, finely grated.

Preheat oven 200c, bring stock and 350ml water to boil, heat olive oil and butter and fry garlic and onions until softened. Add the beetroot and thyme and cook for five mins, stirring often.

Stir in rice, wine, 200ml of the stock, you know how to do this part surely. Heat until bubbles appear round the sides, lid, oven 10mins. Stir in rest of stock, stir in mascarpone, grana padano-although leave a bit for serving. If anyone is reading this method I don't actually know what grana padano is.. ssh.

Wilt beetroot leaves serve on top with a little more grana p. Oh it must be the cheese.

Then his beautiful co-host Rachel plunged into a rhubarb and ginger brulee. 800g rhubarb, 1 dessert spoon ground ginger, 2 pieces stemmed ginger finely chopped, 3 tbsp dem sug, 200 greek yog, 300 thick double creme. oops i've just realised I didn't copy down the rest of the recipe.. I think it was just more sugar.

Preheat oven, gas 4, trip chop rhubarb into 2.5 cm chunks, add sugs and ginger in bowl and toss all together. Bake for 20 mins. Stir then 10-15 mins more. Drain juice when cooled. Heat grill for 15 mins on highest. Combine yog and cream, spoon over top, spoon more sugar over evenly, and grill till bubbling like hot sand.

Doesn't it look sumptious! Well it was.

Thank you ever so much Dani and Rachel and Colin.

Don't forget to chew!

Just so you know I've spent the last 2 hours in my kitchen whipping up blog posts for your insatiable appetites but i won't put them ALL on right now incase I fill you up. You might get tummy ache.

You are what you eat

Today I actually thought that my prediction that I would turn into pastry I was eating so much has come true when I glanced down at work and saw the skin on my chest was flaky pastrying away. Oh dear. Whatever next?

I blamed the delights of Chaz and Ryan's latest offering:

Homemade pizza and dough balls. They made the dough and piled on asparagus, mozarella, courgettes, parma ham, chilli, and all sorts of other treats that escape my memory. This was served with sweet potato wedges which were absolutely gorge, and a salade. There was some spare dough they were flinging about and instead of pushing it straight down my throat Ryan had the brilliance of mind to roll us up some dough balls, later accompanied by a swimming pool of melted butter. MMMMmmmm.

And you'll be pleased to know dearhearts that I eventually discovered that my skin wasn't flaking off, it was just an area of dried milk from breakfast. Dribble dribble.

Bob is arriving in a few mins so I better get ready to jump out at her or lock the door or something. Can't let any arrival of hers go unteased.

Bye for now dairy queens xxxxxxx

It's just a little crush(ed)

garlic. Not like I faint everytime we touch..

Harking back to the sage words of "Puff Pastry" I took the plunge with garlic and smeared it everywhere with these moroccan meatballs.*

Got a proper recipe for you for once dreamboats, mainly because I didn't have to write it out. My favourite lazy trick is relying on guestbloggers for my bread and butter.

Moroccan meatballs as devised, written and cooked by Dave Fairbrother:

Sauce

Tomatoes, chopped (1 tin per 2 people)

Cumin, ground, plenty

Paprika, ground, plenty

Coriander, fresh, chopped

Cinnamon stick

Red wine, lots of glugs of

Simmer for 1 hour

Meatballs

In a mixing bowl:

Beef/lamb mince (chop for extra malleability)

Onion, finely diced

Garlic, finely chopped (there isn't actually that much garlic in this- i just really enjoy the song 'crush')

Salt

Pepper

Parmesan

Whisked egg (just enough to bind the mix)

• Thoroughly mix the components with hands, then squidge together and roll balls between the palms of one's hands like plasticine.
• Place balls on a baking sheet, smother with olive oil and oven cook on medium/high temperature for 20-30 mins or until thoroughly cooked, browned and slightly crispy.
• Add meatballs to the sauce.
• 10 mins before serving crack an egg per person into the sauce and a handful of the chopped coriander and cover.
• Serve in bowls with spoons and naan/rustic bread.
• During cooking ensure too much of the wine isn't consumed by Fran, as this could lead to complacency and guests waiting 3 hours for food.

I know they look a bit volcanic but they tasted an absolute dream! Post eruption my wine was nicely soaked up with a round of cheese and biscuits.

*A massive lie. Not only am I too lazy to write my own blog posts these days, I mainly rely on other people to cook the food for me. I was busy drinking wine not chopping garlic. Even that shot of my stirring the sauce was faked.

Feed the 5000

After a dreamy Easter weekend the London disciples assembled at the Estate for a last bite of bank holiday Monday evening. Unforch running around chatting high on all that sugar meant it was nearly 9pm when we realised that we were about to crumble. What can we do? Cooking for 7 people and in a short time. Some sort of miracle was needed.

Sometimes someone with more experience than Jamie or Nigella is needed so taking a leaf out of Jesus' recipe book we went to Tesco and hooked ourselves 35 fish fingers from the deep freeze to feed all of our hungry mouths. Accompanied by 3 sacks of chips.

And if you've ever wondered what 35 fish fingers looks like..

Thanks Alex.

Just a quick one as I'm actually in the middle of baking and not sure if the mac can take anymore sticky fingers.

Talk soon xxxxxxxxxxxx

Puff Pastry

Homosexuality has actually been legal since 1969; a surprising fact, we know. But, on those warm, gay-bashed nights, all Gays big and small can take comfort and gather comradery from a Pizza fired in the furnace of your civil partnered pals pantry.

We (Dav and Chris) have been perfecting this recipe over the last few weeks. The pizza itself is a very masculine dish, which is why we chose it. (You can both suck it Nigella and Delia, you are not wanted here right now!)

One simple trick for this recipe — make your base out of Puff Pastry! It adds a delicious, luxurious feel to the pizza and wards off that "Domino Dough" feeling. Other methods have been tried by ourselves in the past, including 35p 'Pizza Powder' from Tesco Metrosexuals, as well as shortcrust pastry from Waitrose. Both were just a bit sh**t, so just like we do, STAY GAY and 'stick to the puff'.
When it comes to the toppings we encourage experimentation.

Unusual combinations can create shockingly enjoyable experiences — as in all areas of life. One of our favourites includes lemon, chilli, anchovies and capers - who would have thunk it? It's important to allow the anchovies to bathe in a bath of lemon juice, garlic, chilli and olive oil for at least 20 mins. Then smother it onto the pastry and add parsley confetti. Don't be afraid to use your fingers, garlic is great for the skin. Simpler combinations are just as pleasing - like Chorizo and basil. An American gay we know suggests basing the pizza with a layer of mustard to give it a bit of a kick — Gays always win.

If you want the real recipes then just log yourself onto Jamie Oliver's website — who incidentally is another gay. SCANDALICIOUS!

The best thing about home made pizza is that it takes just moments in the oven — the cheese will give you a golden wink when it's done.

Thanks sl**s.x x x

Thanks boys! Wonderful work. And I do hope you all relished that slice of the action WYDishers.

Bye for now stardust xxxxxxxxxxxx