Switch me on!

After a gruelling weekend of picnics and partying chased up with an early Sunday shift (I was a very little bit sick in my mouth twice at work) all I wanted was a health boosting dinner in the company of my morale boosting friends. And what could be more invigorating than a menu of POWER PITTAS? After a few of these I nearly felt like I could go again. I harvested mushrooms, peppers (of all colours), halloumi, and courgette from the Co-op and Marky melded them all together with some herbs and spices in a wok. We also were brimming with tzatzkiikiii (yog, chopped mint, cucumber) courtesy of Chazzi's fair hands. Bob fetched us bowls and the others provided extra sides of company.

Gosh aren't they tucking in well? The room was so full of the near silence of munching I half expected a Dad to pipe up, 'oh i can tell this is good!'

Afterwards we had not one but two delicious cakes that Chazzle had dazzled us with. One chocolate, one strawberry cream to tear into.

Don't I look like I could never make a food or drink based mistake in this photo?

Well Cath Kidston dresses can be deceiving.. It was my job to rustle up 8 cups of teas to go with this and I failed miserably. The water was barely simmering and floating on the top were suds from the dishwasher. I'd just been so eager to get back to the gang I just didn't have time to do it properly!

Bob and I still drank ours. She's very sweet to me and having had gastroenteretc recently was probably inoculated from it. Suds away!

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Beet that!

A little while ago I arrived home from work and no sooner had I stepped through the door Dani Bristol texted me enquiring what I was up to. Pushing all thoughts of a nice bubble bath and a nap aside I wheeled right round and met her at my favourite cafe, 'The Bridge,' for a hot chocolate. One thing led to another and we ended up round her friend Rachel and Colin's Shoreditch flat tucking into the abundant contents of their fridge.

Now the recipes featured today may seem a little lux for my everyday readers (what, no fish finger sandwich?) but rest assured they seemed quite easy. Not that I was cooking. I'm just dinner entertainment these days.

From ingredients genuinely already lying around Colin whipped us up a wonderful 'oven cooked beetroot risotto.'

500ml veg stock

5tbsp extra virg olive oil

25g unsalted butter

2 small pink onions chopped

3 garlic cloves crushed with a little sea salt a la jennifer paige

5 small beetroot peeled, halved, sliced, plus the leafy tops to cook and serve with.

3 fresh lemon thyme sprigs

300g arborio rice

200ml dry rose wine

5 tbsp mascarpone

100g grana padano, finely grated.

Preheat oven 200c, bring stock and 350ml water to boil, heat olive oil and butter and fry garlic and onions until softened. Add the beetroot and thyme and cook for five mins, stirring often.

Stir in rice, wine, 200ml of the stock, you know how to do this part surely. Heat until bubbles appear round the sides, lid, oven 10mins. Stir in rest of stock, stir in mascarpone, grana padano-although leave a bit for serving. If anyone is reading this method I don't actually know what grana padano is.. ssh.

Wilt beetroot leaves serve on top with a little more grana p. Oh it must be the cheese.

Then his beautiful co-host Rachel plunged into a rhubarb and ginger brulee. 800g rhubarb, 1 dessert spoon ground ginger, 2 pieces stemmed ginger finely chopped, 3 tbsp dem sug, 200 greek yog, 300 thick double creme. oops i've just realised I didn't copy down the rest of the recipe.. I think it was just more sugar.

Preheat oven, gas 4, trip chop rhubarb into 2.5 cm chunks, add sugs and ginger in bowl and toss all together. Bake for 20 mins. Stir then 10-15 mins more. Drain juice when cooled. Heat grill for 15 mins on highest. Combine yog and cream, spoon over top, spoon more sugar over evenly, and grill till bubbling like hot sand.

Doesn't it look sumptious! Well it was.

Thank you ever so much Dani and Rachel and Colin.

Don't forget to chew!

Just so you know I've spent the last 2 hours in my kitchen whipping up blog posts for your insatiable appetites but i won't put them ALL on right now incase I fill you up. You might get tummy ache.

You are what you eat

Today I actually thought that my prediction that I would turn into pastry I was eating so much has come true when I glanced down at work and saw the skin on my chest was flaky pastrying away. Oh dear. Whatever next?

I blamed the delights of Chaz and Ryan's latest offering:

Homemade pizza and dough balls. They made the dough and piled on asparagus, mozarella, courgettes, parma ham, chilli, and all sorts of other treats that escape my memory. This was served with sweet potato wedges which were absolutely gorge, and a salade. There was some spare dough they were flinging about and instead of pushing it straight down my throat Ryan had the brilliance of mind to roll us up some dough balls, later accompanied by a swimming pool of melted butter. MMMMmmmm.

And you'll be pleased to know dearhearts that I eventually discovered that my skin wasn't flaking off, it was just an area of dried milk from breakfast. Dribble dribble.

Bob is arriving in a few mins so I better get ready to jump out at her or lock the door or something. Can't let any arrival of hers go unteased.

Bye for now dairy queens xxxxxxx

It's just a little crush(ed)

garlic. Not like I faint everytime we touch..

Harking back to the sage words of "Puff Pastry" I took the plunge with garlic and smeared it everywhere with these moroccan meatballs.*

Got a proper recipe for you for once dreamboats, mainly because I didn't have to write it out. My favourite lazy trick is relying on guestbloggers for my bread and butter.

Moroccan meatballs as devised, written and cooked by Dave Fairbrother:

Sauce

Tomatoes, chopped (1 tin per 2 people)

Cumin, ground, plenty

Paprika, ground, plenty

Coriander, fresh, chopped

Cinnamon stick

Red wine, lots of glugs of

Simmer for 1 hour

Meatballs

In a mixing bowl:

Beef/lamb mince (chop for extra malleability)

Onion, finely diced

Garlic, finely chopped (there isn't actually that much garlic in this- i just really enjoy the song 'crush')

Salt

Pepper

Parmesan

Whisked egg (just enough to bind the mix)

• Thoroughly mix the components with hands, then squidge together and roll balls between the palms of one's hands like plasticine.
• Place balls on a baking sheet, smother with olive oil and oven cook on medium/high temperature for 20-30 mins or until thoroughly cooked, browned and slightly crispy.
• Add meatballs to the sauce.
• 10 mins before serving crack an egg per person into the sauce and a handful of the chopped coriander and cover.
• Serve in bowls with spoons and naan/rustic bread.
• During cooking ensure too much of the wine isn't consumed by Fran, as this could lead to complacency and guests waiting 3 hours for food.

I know they look a bit volcanic but they tasted an absolute dream! Post eruption my wine was nicely soaked up with a round of cheese and biscuits.

*A massive lie. Not only am I too lazy to write my own blog posts these days, I mainly rely on other people to cook the food for me. I was busy drinking wine not chopping garlic. Even that shot of my stirring the sauce was faked.

Feed the 5000

After a dreamy Easter weekend the London disciples assembled at the Estate for a last bite of bank holiday Monday evening. Unforch running around chatting high on all that sugar meant it was nearly 9pm when we realised that we were about to crumble. What can we do? Cooking for 7 people and in a short time. Some sort of miracle was needed.

Sometimes someone with more experience than Jamie or Nigella is needed so taking a leaf out of Jesus' recipe book we went to Tesco and hooked ourselves 35 fish fingers from the deep freeze to feed all of our hungry mouths. Accompanied by 3 sacks of chips.

And if you've ever wondered what 35 fish fingers looks like..

Thanks Alex.

Just a quick one as I'm actually in the middle of baking and not sure if the mac can take anymore sticky fingers.

Talk soon xxxxxxxxxxxx

Puff Pastry

Homosexuality has actually been legal since 1969; a surprising fact, we know. But, on those warm, gay-bashed nights, all Gays big and small can take comfort and gather comradery from a Pizza fired in the furnace of your civil partnered pals pantry.

We (Dav and Chris) have been perfecting this recipe over the last few weeks. The pizza itself is a very masculine dish, which is why we chose it. (You can both suck it Nigella and Delia, you are not wanted here right now!)

One simple trick for this recipe — make your base out of Puff Pastry! It adds a delicious, luxurious feel to the pizza and wards off that "Domino Dough" feeling. Other methods have been tried by ourselves in the past, including 35p 'Pizza Powder' from Tesco Metrosexuals, as well as shortcrust pastry from Waitrose. Both were just a bit sh**t, so just like we do, STAY GAY and 'stick to the puff'.
When it comes to the toppings we encourage experimentation.

Unusual combinations can create shockingly enjoyable experiences — as in all areas of life. One of our favourites includes lemon, chilli, anchovies and capers - who would have thunk it? It's important to allow the anchovies to bathe in a bath of lemon juice, garlic, chilli and olive oil for at least 20 mins. Then smother it onto the pastry and add parsley confetti. Don't be afraid to use your fingers, garlic is great for the skin. Simpler combinations are just as pleasing - like Chorizo and basil. An American gay we know suggests basing the pizza with a layer of mustard to give it a bit of a kick — Gays always win.

If you want the real recipes then just log yourself onto Jamie Oliver's website — who incidentally is another gay. SCANDALICIOUS!

The best thing about home made pizza is that it takes just moments in the oven — the cheese will give you a golden wink when it's done.

Thanks sl**s.x x x

Thanks boys! Wonderful work. And I do hope you all relished that slice of the action WYDishers.

Bye for now stardust xxxxxxxxxxxx