Filth

I had the most disgusting burger in Ypres recently. It was teeming with yellow sauce, red sauce, pickles, something indistinguishable. I couldn't even eat it as it was so wet.

I just couldn't pick it up without getting sticky fingers..

Much like my new book 50 Shades of Grey. I was in the St Pancras Eurostar lounge when a nameless good friend rang to declare, "Franny, you simply must purchase this book. It's so popular it's sold out in Macclesfield!"

Can you imagine?

Off I went to the WHS travel book shop to have a look. There it was winking down at me. So with some furtive glances around the shop I pulled it off the shelf.
I thought I'd better buy The History of the World in 100 Objects, too, to disguise my purchase but the cashier still smirked at me. But maybe he just likes women with brains and an interest in ancient pottery.

I couldn't really wait to tuck in, unlike with my burger, so ripped it open right there on the Eurostar. Was feeling very tasteful until my Dad leaned over and said, 'Oh why didn't you just borrow that off me? I thought it was a bit tame.'

Oh. Well, he also ate his burger right up so you can see a pattern.