I was on the train at 8am on Easter Friday, sitting behind three people on their way to Alton towers. Unfortunately for them they were annoying and I was tired and so began an hour of possibly subtle mind games.
There were two Australian women, one British guy with a black leather studded wrist band who cleared worshipped their particular brand of exoticism. He practically didn't even talk. He just listened wide eyed to them screech about "wagging school" and how "there isn't a Pret in Brisbane".
I peeled my piece of fruit and listened to them discuss, confused, what the smell was. "Whaaaat's that?" They howled. "It smells like oorrange and cooffee? Maybe it's a chocolate orrange?"
It's Grapefruit suckers. I decided I'd tell them where the smell was coming from if they guessed it but they didn't. I wondered if I should put my peel in the pocket of her coat which is over the back of the chair.
One of the girls then flung her hand over my seat. She needs her nails cutting. She might like it if I did them for her.
Luckily for them I shortly arrived at Rugby station. I took the peel with me, the law abiding citizen that I am. But then left it in the car. A day later Mum said, "Is it you who has left that orange peel in the car?"
Oh God not this again. GRAPEFRUIT! It's GRAPEFRUIT! You'll be telling me there isn't a Pret in Monks Kirby next.
There were two Australian women, one British guy with a black leather studded wrist band who cleared worshipped their particular brand of exoticism. He practically didn't even talk. He just listened wide eyed to them screech about "wagging school" and how "there isn't a Pret in Brisbane".
I peeled my piece of fruit and listened to them discuss, confused, what the smell was. "Whaaaat's that?" They howled. "It smells like oorrange and cooffee? Maybe it's a chocolate orrange?"
It's Grapefruit suckers. I decided I'd tell them where the smell was coming from if they guessed it but they didn't. I wondered if I should put my peel in the pocket of her coat which is over the back of the chair.
One of the girls then flung her hand over my seat. She needs her nails cutting. She might like it if I did them for her.
Luckily for them I shortly arrived at Rugby station. I took the peel with me, the law abiding citizen that I am. But then left it in the car. A day later Mum said, "Is it you who has left that orange peel in the car?"
Oh God not this again. GRAPEFRUIT! It's GRAPEFRUIT! You'll be telling me there isn't a Pret in Monks Kirby next.
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