Thursday, 19 March 2015

Can I please desert you now?

My house mate recently had the MOST traumatic experience.

No, it wasn't that a man offered to cook at our flat for her on only the fourth date. Gross.
No, it wasn't that he asked her if she'd prefer if he made an appetiser or dessert. "Both you tight wad. And why are you practicing this midweek...?"
No, it wasn't that he texted her asking if she could provide milk and butter. "Alright i'll give you the pound!"

It wasn't even that when he was cooking, our hot plate overheated and wrecked his sauce and her provision of almond milk refused to stick together the breadcrumbs.
It wasn't that he's never heard of a restaurant.

FOR DESSERT he bought, not cooked, a dry old Victoria Sponge from Tesco.

I knew this was the most wrong bit. Wikipedia doesn't mention Victoria Sponge in its comprehensive lists of desserts. I asked my Granny and Grampa if it was an appropriate dessert, and Granny said "Well. Yes, but only if you were using it as the base for a trifle" whilst Grampa looked quite confused and or angry. Bob was apoplectic. And she knows her puddings (not a fat joke, she just does).

I'm going to have to have words with Tindr



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