Saturday, 3 September 2011


Seeing as I'd found Hampstead Heath so manageable I'm not too worried about climbing up Everest basecamp. Even so I thought I'd walk to the supermarket in my walking boots to practise a little more. Picked up some champagne to have for Dave's wedding party whilst I was there.
Whoever said there was no luxury in the great outdoors...

Then I had to swap my walking boots for heels as vertiginous as the Himalayas to go to the wedding. They were much admired and I was only felled when I sat down for dinner of five portions of butternut squash curry. It was very filling. Or so we thought until the staff caught Chazney rooting through the bins later desperately sniffing for curry sauce to hoover up. I was too busy excavating hidden bottles of champagne from behind plant pots.

For this much curry use 25 butternut squashes, loads of herbs, and stuff. Get some rice and pitta, get married, and serve.

Thursday, 1 September 2011

The recipe for love

Actually recently, I went to stay at Pink Granny and Grampa's for a soothing spa few days.
But as it turned out there was more on the menu than relaxation...

Concerned that my whinging at home in bed wasn't bearing the fruits of romance, Granny had put all the cards in place to set up a date with Trevor the computer man. Very thoughtful. I probably do need a sous chef in the date department as I haven't made anything rise up on my own of late.
So, just before Granny wilted off for her afternoon nap she gave me some tips. Just like an estate agent I was to sell my wares by having some brownies in the oven.
Here they are. 100g chocolate, 200g grated courgette, 100g sultanas, some walnuts I found on the side, some amounts of brown sugar and butter and flour. See, low fat, just incase Trev likes them not as junky.

Then she gave me a brief: uni degree and location Geography at Wolverhampton; current job computer man; location Essex; hobbies: fixing computers obvs. We would have loads to talk about now.

So I whipped up the brownies, stuck them in the oven, brushed my hair, and got prepared to charm about Wolverhampton. I even had a jam jar ready which I needed help opening. I like to make a man feel useful.

Ding Dong....

"Hello, is the laptop ready?" "Yep. Here it is." "Ok. I'll bring it back next Tuesday". "Ok. Bye."

Oh dear. I had to eat almost all the brownies after that to console myself. I'm not very good at this. Luckily the brownies were delicious.