Friday 5 April 2013

On the rise

I accidentally watched an episode of Girls before going circuit training with my Dad. In it Adam is very sexually rude to his classy new girlfriend, after she has explicitly outlined that she does not want him to act like that. But then she gets freaked out and feels like she has to do it because he's kind of scary. "Get on all floors." "Crawl to my room." Aaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh. Sounds just like push up directions if you ask me.

This made me more determined than ever not to let the circuit trainer touch me. I had a little conversation with myself on the toilet before the class. I would tell him that I was trying to take control over my personal space and that because of that I didn't want any non family or close friends to hug me. No offence.

He bounced into the room and I shuddered. Seriously, get a new gym kit. Ten year old reebok tracksuit bottoms. As stringy as the legs inside them, and probably just as stained as his pants. I put on my biggest smile. Oh Hi. And taking charge, went in for a hand shake. Oh whoops, how did he make that a hug? Men just can't help getting what they want! So manipulative. At least he smelt really clean. That was a nice surprise. Later, for some reason he told me he weighed seven stone. Ro said that was the worse and strangest man lie she had ever heard. Usually they just try to pretend they're not 35 when you're only 19.

In the car home Ro said that I shouldn't have smiled. But I had tried to dampen it down so much. You should see my 100 watt. I barely looked him in the eye during lunges or when he gripped my wrist to move me into position during spotty dogs, and I tried only to smile encouraging whilst looking at the floor. I can't not smile, it's rude.
"Yeah, but your cold and frigid is another person's take me on a date asap smile. You just can't help it. You've got to dampen down. You're too bouncy."

I'll tell you what is bouncy. Dough. I bought these frozen croissants at the farm shop. They come in dough form and you cook them into submission. I defrosted them and left them to "prove" themselves on the side. When we came back from a walk they had puffed so much that they'd all stuck together. Ooh mallowy to the touch. They were just as tactile as me during sit ups. Apparently.  

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